A couple of stories for some insight:
I asked my dentist if I could talk to her in a closed room. The reason being that the minute the assistant asked me if all was good and I said ‘not sure, I need to talk to the dentist,’ a woman in the next chair’s head snapped around toward me like she wanted to hear what might go wrong with Invisalign (I just finished my treatment and the teeth look gorgeous, tho you never REALLY finish, something they don’t tell you,..but I digress!)…, There are no walls between stations so everything you say can be heard by everyone on the 8 seats… I figured it might be this worried looking woman’s first visit and it wasn’t good business for me to be bringing up grievances while the dentist had what might be a potential client in there.
My dentist is Iranian-born and schooled, very beautiful and very nice. Soon she approached me and I said “Could I talk to you in private?” She said yes and I followed her into her office and I told her “I didn’t want to have anybody hear what I wanted to ask you because I didn’t want anybody worrying …” She said “That’s okay.”
“THAT’S OKAY?” I asked myself. I added…. “Well, I didn’t want any new client hearing anything negative,” I added, thinking she’s not getting what I mean. “That’s fine…what’s up!?” But I’m doing you a favor, I don’t need a brass band, but a “nice of you to think of that” might be a good thing to say? I’d have said it were I her. So, I told her what was up, and she said that’s typical, not to worry, and we went back out to the stations. I sat down and the assistant approached me as the Dr went to get something and the Hispanic assistant said “It was nice of you to be so thoughtful and not say anything negative where others can hear you.” SHE got it. The Iranian dentist didn’t have a clue. It didn’t register somehow.
Yesterday, I was at the car wash…there are 5 stations to which you can pull up. One was empty… but there was a car that had come into the area before me and was sitting kind of far back behind another car which was in a station…. I waited to pull up into the empty spot thinking the blue car would get the drift, that he was there first and he could go in front of me, but he did nothing, so I pulled up, aware that the car wash guys keep track and they’ll take him first once he pulls up anyway. He approaches the man at the stand where I was to about to say “Just a wash” so I see him and say “I’m sorry I pulled in first….if you’d like to talk to the guy first, I’ll wait..” He says “I don’t care what you did with your car….” very dismissively, with a Middle Eastern accent. He continued “…but I have a question for him…. ” I said “well, you go ahead…” He pulls the guy at the stand away and they go to his car and talk for ten MINUTES, no shred of consideration for me standing there waiting to take the ticket and go in and pay and wait for my car.
A few years ago, a realtor friend said he won’t deal with Iranians because they’ll offer $350,000 for a condo if the sales price is $550,000. He warns Iranian clients not to do that, and he says it’s the first thing they’ll say anyway…. “I’ll give you $350K, that’s enough for you.” Clients have stood there agape, like “WHAT?”
A friend owned a German car repair….he once had an Iranian woman owner of a Mercedes he’d had to spend about $1800 on to repair what was wrong get ON THE GARAGE FLOOR kicking her feet and fists and crying and saying she couldn’t pay. I swear. Once she got up, he told me she said “I give you $750, that’s enough for you.” Seriously.
I only write these things to show not that these are rude people, they aren’t….but their MENTALITY IS VERY DIFFERENT. It seems like they’re intentionally being RUDE to us but it’s their thinking, their way of dealing with others; it’s what comes naturally; it’s a different society. I’m not sure if they deal with other Iranians like that but they do with Americans.
I SINCERELY don’t think our own darned government understands this….Americans TRUST, Americans expect people all over the world to THINK LIKE WE DO; kind, trustworthy, accomodating, patient, pleasant. THAT’s NOT THE WAY IT IS. They’re not all bad people! My dentist is lovely, for example….BUT….
Who’s to say if this mentality difference enters into negotiations like the nuclear talks this last month? IT’S ALL ABOUT PRIDE.
PS….WOW! I just went to AOW’s blog after posting this and she has this:
HELLO? “We are NOT closing down, THE PROUD PEOPLE OF IRAN WOULD NEVER STAND FOR THAT..” So, now Iran’s telling the world that Obama’s thugs are lying to us and Iranians are NOT doing what Kerry says they agreed to do (which is little anyway). Who knows the truth? PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE. Is that true, or can he not bring himself to show his own people they have to obey THE GREAT SATAN, America?