Laughing is a very good thing….

I did NOT write these, and you’ve probably seen some, but read till the end…very cute!

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really care much anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so.

Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:

  1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  1. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
  1. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  1. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  1. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
  1. It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.
  1. Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
  1. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.
  1. Kids in the backseat cause accidents.
  1. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
  1. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
  1. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.
  1. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.
  1. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
  1. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They’re everywhere.
  1. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  1. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”.
  1. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  1. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
  1. Have I sent this message to you before…or did I get it from you?
This entry was posted in Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Laughing is a very good thing….

  1. My dad, towards the end, upon someone telling him he looked great, would cross his hands over his chest, close his eyes and say, “That’s what they’ll say at the funeral home.”
    🙂

  2. There is also a cure for the Bern… laughter IS the best medicine!

  3. bocopro says:

    Laughter is tylenol for the headache, aspirin for the arthritis, penicillin for the blues, and as therapeutic for the system as a trip to the gym for a workout.

    One of my oldest friends was an obscene, profane, blasphemous, nasty, sarcastic, unkempt, obese emphysemiac with type II diabetes who smoked and drank beer until he died. He said things that most of us would be excoriated, if not arrested, for.

    But, he made ya laff, so you overlooked all his flaws. He lit up a room and could change the personality of a group within seconds after showing up, turning disgruntlement into dialogue, frustration into friendship, and malaise into merriment. He was like a dangerous-smelling remedy that made people feel better, an upper you got addicted to, a beam of bright sunlight on a cold, rainy day . . . ’cause he was a laughter generator.

  4. Linda says:

    Thanks for the laughs! We need those with all the ‘other’ news we read!!!

  5. Adrienne says:

    I think I’ve read this already. Not sure, though. Hmmmmmmmm – now where did I leave my coffee cup?

  6. geeez2014 says:

    Here’s a laugh from Kasich two minutes ago “Being a Republican might be in my roots, but I get the Left mad at me and the Right mad at me” Yup, centrist as they come….he had a lot of us fooled, me included. though many of his talks exhibited a move to the center on a LOT of subjects…….
    So, I’d write him off … now.

    Hi, Linda! We SURE DO.

    Adrienne….isn’t it AWFUL? Go upstairs and wonder “Why’d I come up here?” Yikes!

    Vrag…funny but kind of disgusting, too.

    Ed, he was right!

  7. geeez2014 says:

    Here’s another big laugh:
    Trump “isn’t it a shame a person (me) who has the most votes still has to fight?”
    Apparently, Donald thinks he ought to be crowned now……. 🙂 Does that mean he has the fortitude to continue to campaign? Or is he tired of seeing his numbers go down and wants to go home?

  8. Mal says:

    Trump doesn’t like to lose. That’s what bothers me the most. Will he be willing to bow out and support whoever is selected, with respect and dignity? Nah. I don’t believe he will either.
    As for Kasich being a centrist, so what? If he can pull us all together and do the things necessary to get us back on track, fine. Perhaps he will appeal to a greater % of the voters. He sure beats the Democratic alternatives.

  9. FB says:

    Kasich is kissing many asses to win. The more things are evolving the more I think I’ll vote Libertarian. But we’ll see how things evolve once the candidate are there. If it’s Bernie I’ll vote GOP. If it’s Hillary vs GOP Establishment, it’ll be the same statist party running. Then I’ll start waiting for the revolution 🙂

  10. geeez2014 says:

    Mal, I used to feel like you do…the more centrist the better. Now I think even some Democrats are longing for a STRONG Republican like Reagan, unwilling to bend, unwilling to see this country go further into the socialism the Left’s leading us to…
    Honestly? I think that even an avowed Sanders supporter might vote for a really well spoken, appealing, smart and America-loving Republican. Sadly, there are none.

  11. FB says:

    Z, I think 2016 will be the year when the GOP officially starts dying. Maybe it’s a good thing. Something else will emerge with people like us.

  12. bocopro says:

    Dying won’t be a serious setback to the GOP. Look at the NBA . . . been dead for at least 30 years but doesn’t have the decency to go away.

    And socialism has perished catastrophically every place it’s been installed, but it keeps rising from the grave like a zombie to pester humanity.

    What needs to die is liberalism, quietly, abruptly, and permanently.

  13. FB says:

    That won’t die. Envy, which is another form of greed, won’t die. So socialism won’t do die. Even the Pope is inviting Bernie Sanders. What a merde-head this Pope is.

  14. FB says:

    Won’t die. Not won’t do die.

  15. Z-man says:

    My grandmother used to say “I’m not afraid of dead people I’m afraid of live people.”

  16. geeez2014 says:

    I don’t believe Conservatism can last when our kids have been tainted by the fact that SO many teachers are bleeding heart liberals (I say ‘bleeding heart” because it all LOOKS so good when they talk, nobody asks “HOW?” “Who’s paying?” “How is this good for strong, self sufficient society?”

    I Sub’d yesterday, 14-15 yr olds….almost all of them wish they were being raised when I was being raised; almost all of them felt that they don’t want this over sexed culture on them, they don’t want to have friends doing drugs (but they do), they want to know America as I KNEW HER.
    Almost ALL OF THEM………
    But, they’re brainwashed.

    One really bright kid, whose last name IS Sanders but no relation, wants Sanders….thankfully, the kid can’t vote. BUT he’s against doing away with the 2nd amendment, he doesn’t like Political Correctness, he believes the Left is stupid on many points…
    For the first time since meeting this kid and talking politics with him from time to time, I had hope, and I believe I gave him some things to think about, too.

    SO, our kids aren’t TOTALLY ruined, but a big part ARE.

    No, Socialism WILL NOT DIE…even though it has NEVER EVER WORKED.

    I’m not as thrilled as some of you that our party’s dissolving before our eyes…not at all. This only solidifies what the dopey next generation’s been told about us by their teachers.

    I’m actually tired of the hypothesis that we’re done…as a party or a country.; Sorry, but I am.

  17. FB says:

    About kids, something fun to share with them. Really well made and fairly good acting sitcom-ish series called “Love Gov”. It’s hilarious.

  18. Mal says:

    All I’m sayin’, Z, is if we can’t pull the numbers to get a conservative GOP candidate elected then perhaps someone in the middle, like they’re saying Kasich is, would be better. He might even be MY choice right now, given the school-yard bickering going on between Trump and Cruz. He keeps harping on his accomplishments not only in Ohio, but on a previous national budget committee that balanced the budget. Those make for a good, solid, resume’, especially when compared to Hillary’s dismal record.

  19. geeez2014 says:

    But Mal, it’s never worked. We have tried to run centrist Republicans and we lose the strong Republicans and we lose those Indies and even some Demos for not being strong ENOUGH…I really believe that.

    The more Kasich talks, the more I think he’s a total self serving creep; and I know that won’t be a popular statement but that’s my feeling about him now…….and I had high hopes for him.

  20. geeez2014 says:

    FB…what the heck is LOVE GOV? I Googled it and read a bit …is it still on somewhere? Only the internet? I thought ‘Gov’ was a good guy until he pushed the trip to Florence, how important college is, and then I started getting that he’s GOVERNMENT and WRONG!
    What else do you know about this ‘show?’…are they still making new episodes? Where’s it shown?

  21. Z, oou said “even an avowed Sanders supporter might vote for a really well spoken, appealing, smart and America-loving Republican. Sadly, there are none.”
    I’m sorry you feel that way.
    You couldn’t get smarter, more well spoken or America loving than Cruz.
    Appealing? Well, I find the above appealing.
    Is he perfect? No.
    Am I a Cruzite? No. But you go to war with the army you’ve got.
    Cruz will do. And if elected with a Republican congress, will give us what we want.
    This thread started out light hearted.
    I’m surprised at the turn it took.
    My only despair is due to Trump and his influence and distraction.
    That will end in July.

  22. geeez2014 says:

    Ed, Believe me…Ted Cruz is not “appealing” to most Republicans, let alone the Indies and Dems I was addressing there…
    I’m sorry I feel that way, too. VERY sorry.

  23. Imp says:

    A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

    Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

    Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

    Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school.
    Me neither.

    I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented….I forgot where I was going with this.

  24. Mal says:

    Perhaps you are right about Kasich. I also realize past Republicans considered in the center, like McCain, have had no success. I just thought Hillary & Bernie are so disliked, a middle of the roadie just might succeed. What a helluva mess!
    So…….who does that leave Paul Ryan? How would he fare against H or B?

  25. geeez2014 says:

    Mal, I’m afraid to say that I like Ryan….most conservatives absolutely don’t. I have an intuition that he’s exactly what we need and that the Omnibus, etc., were the absolute best he could do…

    Imp; I LOVE THOSE>..laughed out loud…thanks!!

  26. FB says:

    It’s on youtube, Z. It’s made by some conservative organization. It’s pretty funny. Watch the episode and you’ll laugh or smile.

    Kasich is a compassionate conservative. We know where it went last time. More debt. This country has 10 years to fix the debt. Otherwise it’s over.

  27. Imp says:

    “Ted Cruz is running on a promise to “restore the Constitution,” but if the Constitution needs to be “restored,” it has already failed.”

    QED

  28. Kid says:

    Those are Great. Firwst read for me on this one.

  29. Kid says:

    IMP. Heh.

    Here’s an odd one. I read that cat owners are more likely to be Road Ragers. I have no evidence against the idea.

    Foilks. My advice which you can take or not since freedom is the inportant thing here is – Vote against hilrod. Period. The beast will give us a constitution shredding supreme court that will last through your children’s lives. Then probably forever. It’s much easier to screw things up than make them better. The last 4 presidents and 32 years have proven that.

  30. Imp says:

    Kasich, Clinton and Sanders will bring us more of this.

    In the “land of the free,” we now live under an increasingly oppressive security state designed to protect us from Muslims.

    We would enjoy far more of the “freedom” conservatives talk about if we simply admitted that people are different and that Western societies have nothing to gain from importing vast numbers of Third Worlders who bring welfare dependence, terrorism, crime, and sweeping political and cultural change. The consequences of this unprecedented demographic transformation are indistinguishable, and perhaps even more severe, than the consequences of military defeat and conquest

  31. Kid says:

    IMP “In the “land of the free,” we now live under an increasingly oppressive security state designed to protect us from Muslims.”

    Since 2009, we have given green cards to 680,000 muslim vermin. obama will import another 200,000 before we can flush this caca on our shoe.
    And the FBI can’t tell you whether any or all of them are IS or not.

    And to your point – islam has NOTHING in common with a free society, so why do they wnat to come here. The answer is simple. They are invaders with an intent to implement their own culture.

  32. geeez2014 says:

    Kid, this is really hard to believe: “I read that cat owners are more likely to be Road Ragers,” isn’t it?!

    Imp and Kid, you’re depressing the hell out of me but I think you’re both mostly right 😦
    FB, you’re in the depressing boat, too…no offense!!

    This is nuts…to even think America’s THIS MUCH INTO DEBT and THIS threatened by stinkin’ jihadists…GAD.

    I’d rather have Bill Clinton back; we didn’t have the deficit, right?

  33. Funny. It’s because of Kasich (Gingrich and Kemp, also) that Bill Clinton had no deficit.

  34. Kid says:

    Z, Sorry but all government numbers are made up on the spot. Clinton had a deficit. He also shipped out all of our manufacturing jobs and decimated the military.

  35. geeez2014 says:

    Ed, you mean the Gingrich who’s backing Trump now? geeesh

    Kid, yes, he did start the decimation of our military by closing a lot of bases, that’s for sure.
    Things were better financially under him, made up or not.

  36. Kid says:

    Z, Things were better financially under clinto because of 2 things:
    – The buildout of the internet. A literal Orgy of Software and Hardware aimed at the internet.
    – Y2K. Companies spending furious amounts of money to avoid software problems realted to a 4 digit year.

    I kinow about this. I was working in the middle of it at the time. clinton had nothing to do with economical expansion. he was sitting in the right place at the right time. Period.

  37. Kid says:

    PS – I know people who were in the military during clinton and ethey’ve said that most of the time, they would not be able to put more than 24 helicopters into the air military wide. Now, more than 24 helicopters probablt were flight worthy but because of lack of funds and thereby lack of adhering to a maintenance schedule, much of our military equipment was labeled unfit.

    Seriously. Decimated. he also decimated the intelligence agencies to the point that they were absolutely useless. Computers that didn’t work. Jamie Gorelick, working under clinton orders forced the intelligence agencies to not be able to work together. clinton is directly and primarily responsible for 9-11-2001. he needs to find himself in hell in short order.

    la dee da deee daa dee da.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s