VERY GOOD!

The Good Husband…

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s party.

Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste at all like alcohol.

He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose!!!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean.

So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the  mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: ‘Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you

your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!

Love, Jillian’

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is  a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, ‘Son, what happened last night?’

‘Well, you came home after 3 A.M. drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door’.

Confused, he asked his son, ‘So, why is  everything in such perfect order and so clean.

I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me???’

His son replies, ‘Oh THAT… Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, I’m married!!’

?????????????????????????  Broken Coffee Table $239.99

?????????????????????????  Hot Breakfast $4.20

?????????????????????????  Two Aspirins $.38

?????????????????????????  Saying the right thing, at the right time;

ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS…

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33 Responses to VERY GOOD!

  1. So, Donald Trump is a a lout, a boor, had a liberal past, and then he says the right thing and all is forgiven and will you please be our president.
    Clever.

  2. Didn’t see that coming. Well done! 🙂

  3. geeez2014 says:

    Hi, Dr Jon…glad you liked it, too!

    Ed…You saw a LOT more in this joke than I DID! AND, this husband was usually good and only got drunk this one time!! BIG difference than Trump! But, I DO see your point!

  4. I had to stretch to make it work.
    Speaking of commenting, my name and email and website no longer Auto populate on your site, at least not on my phone ,whereas others still do.

  5. geeez2014 says:

    Ed, like I know what Auto Populate IS!? I’m sorry; I haven’t done anything new, but we did update Java, Adobe, and a bunch of stuff….
    Is that why you’re suddenly Edward R Bonderenka instead of Ed as printed above?

  6. Baysider says:

    Ed, how do you get phone to auto populate? I often comment from an office, and get stopped trying to type out all that stuff on my iPhone.

    Z – still trying to get the story.

  7. Mal says:

    Cute joke, Z. I have to admit I didn’t think about it in the way Ed did, but that does make sense. Good analogy, Ed.

  8. I use chrome as a browser on my phone, so I can auto populate by beginning to type my name and choosing an “account”, username and email.
    To avoid WP login issues, I use my google account to comment, which is the Edward R…
    I just didn’t edit it back to Ed.
    But most everywhere else, and previously here, the login was already filled on.

  9. Mal says:

    The difference between Donald and former Presidents is his life has been an open book, with his hotels and reality TV shows, etc. I’ll bet if you compared his past to FDR, JFK, Slick Willie, and a whole host of other past presidents, Trumps would be tame. If there was anything else out there that could be used against him, believe me, the Left would’ve found it and make it an issue. Then there is his great family that works in his favor. We shouldn’t overlook that as a huge character reference, either.

  10. Bob says:

    Mal: Right-on! I would like to hear some more JFK and LBJ tales. Forget about Slick Willie. He is disgusting on any level.

  11. Sparky says:

    *lol* That’s a knee slapper Z! Didn’t see that punchline comin’. Have a blessed day.

  12. Baysider says:

    Ed, I like Chrome, but thought Safari was my only choice on iPhone. Thanks for the tip. I see I can get Chrome through the iTunes store.

    @Mal, yes JFK famously had a teenage mistress “staffer” in the white house … while carrying on with a string of others, and sex parties in the WH. Bill Clinton must have wondered what all the fuss was about the blue dress.

  13. That’s why Michelle keeps Marian Robinson in the house.
    Not to watch the kids.
    Now she get’s a pension for it.

  14. geeez2014 says:

    Ed…I didn’t know that’s called AUTO POPULATE but completely get it…don’t know why that’s happened for you.

    Marian RObinson is rumored to be getting a pension but when I just Googled to remind myself how much, I find that’s apparently NOT TRUE.

  15. http://thebostontribune.com/first-grandma-marian-robinson-receive-lifetime-160k-government-pension/
    It looks real enough. You’re right. Fooled me. Made no sense, but what about this administration does?

  16. Imp says:

    Given the extreme level of frustration, anger, and angst in America against the Republican establishment, a Right-Wing Populist party is inevitable regardless of the outcome of the election. A Trump win will make it a reality sooner rather than later, but it will come. Die hard Paul Ryan and the rest of you Rinos.

    The Republican Party is history!

    The RINO’s, like Ryan and McCain destroyed it.

  17. Kid says:

    IMP, the republican party is history and mclame is the poster boy for what kilt it. #2 boehner, # 3 ryan, then line the rest of them up. I’d put Gowdy and Cruz as a couple of the good guys. Maybe there are a couple more, but I’d say not many.

    If you are conservative and your brain is on fire with current events, this vid will provide a tiny bit of comfort.

  18. Mal says:

    Good for Gowdy, Kid. I only wish all of Congress felt the way he does. Heck. Even half of them!

  19. geeez2014 says:

    http://www.hoaxorfact.com/Pranks/u-s-first-grandma-marian-robinson-to-receive-lifetime-160k-government-pension-hoax.html
    Ed, I don’t know….there are as many articles saying that’s a hoax….Of course I’d checked it before I commented above.

    Imp and Kid… I will never agree about Paul Ryan; he’s enmeshed in a cobweb we don’t know about and to hear him explain a lot of stories in a CNN Townhall was really important and I’m so glad I caught it. We’re actually lucky he’s pulled off some things others couldn’t have….

    Gowdy is certainly one of the many ‘good guys’ but I’d never put Cruz in that bunch, not after how he acted during the primaries….too eager, too much ego. SMart, Conservative, absolutely….but creepy.
    Gowdy is terrific…and so are quite a few others..Mike Lee, Chaffitz, etc…

  20. Kid says:

    Mal. Agree ! 🙂

  21. Kid says:

    Evidence that America is toast.

  22. Imp says:

    Interesting…

    if someone is elected president with the “will and the intelligence” to take on the special interests and fix the problems, America can survive this threat.

    “It simply takes the will and the intelligence to do it, and the ability to resist the special interests who are on the other side of that equation.

    Trump will solve this problem, Clinton is part of the problem. In fact, it’s extraordinary to me—you cannot name a presidential candidate in history who has singlehandedly through bad trade deals destroyed more American jobs and more American factories than Hillary Clinton.

    She did NAFTA, she did China’s entry into the World Trade Organization, she did the South Korean 2012 deal, every single one of those. We’re talking about millions and millions and millions of jobs and just misery in all of the swing states in this election.

    If anybody is listening to this in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Indiana, Wisconsin, North Carolina, please recognize that Hillary Clinton bears a major responsibility for whatever misery your state is going through.”

    BB

  23. Z: I was agreeing with you. I was hoaxed.

  24. geeez2014 says:

    Ed, did you see that FB thing Ray Cole posted about FAKE NEWS or something like that? This is serious…they’re hoaxing US Conservatives by floating ridiculous stories and we fall for them and send them around (how many have we ALL got of those things!?) and then laugh till their little leftwing sides ache at us.

    Imp; the problem is even some Conservatives believe Trump is going to be more an autocrat than even Obama’s been…I’m not sure they’re wrong…he talks like THIS IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO, and that sounds great but it simply doesn’t WORK. Trump CANNOT DO ANYTHING HE WANTS TO DO, no matter how much WE’d like him to do certain things, no matter WHAT!! And, if we lose the senate and he somehow wins (which he will not), he can’t be saying “TOUGH, I’m doing this, anyway!”….But, with his personality, I believe he’ll try.

    We’re up for probably the toughest times EVER in this country and they just might be equally tough no matter who wins…..

  25. geeez2014 says:

    The DODGERS LOST….boo hoo!! 😦

  26. Trump can’t win and lose the down ticket. I can’t see that happening.

  27. You might like my post today.

  28. Imp says:

    @Z…”some Conservatives believe Trump is going to be more an autocrat than even Obama’s been…”

    Since the system is so broken and has been for so long…perhaps it’s time we had another ‘autocrat’ who moves us in the R I G HT direction. I’m sick of seeing the fawning over every goddamn illegal who gets preference over a V E T…..who game the system while our own people are ineligible for 1/10 of what these criminal pieces of shit get for mocking us. Waving their shitty flags in our faces…then dare cry over their “rights”. Or cry that their “families” are being separated. Hey…stay the hell in your own GD country and your “family” wouldn’t be separated. I’m tired of every Jose and Juanita collecting welfare and unemployment….being in our schools while sending all the elicit “TAX” credits back to Mexico. Then dropping a 10 pounder on any damn ER floor and now…their a citizen? We are stupid…and if I were the boss….I’d round up every damn one of them even if it took 20 years. Don’t get me started on mooslems who will never fit in here…NEVER.

  29. Kid says:

    What IMP said.

  30. geeez2014 says:

    SO you REALLY think the stinkin’ libs will sit back and watch Trump do more executive orders than even OBAMA?

    Ed…I hope you’re right, tho I don’t think he’ll win…
    Do you think Hillary could win and we could win the downticket?

  31. Conceivable, since people like CI and Chattering Teeth say they’ll vote down ticket and skip Trump.

  32. geeez2014 says:

    I’m leaning that way, too, particularly because I’m lucky enough NOT to have to make that decision, to vote for a person like Trump, since I’m not in a swing state….and my electoral college is all sewn up.

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