-I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six items would you like to buy?” (Z; I LOVE THIS!)
-The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would “hate” to have to make a living under the laws they have just passed. (Z: Oh, yes!)
-Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. (Z: of course that is ONLY true about cats :-))
-Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?” Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.” Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives.” Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!'”
-A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is going to poison me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s going to poison me. What should I do?” The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her; I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.” A week later the Rabbi calls the man. He says, “I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?” The man said, “Yes” and the Rabbi replied, “Take the poison.”
Z: I hope you enjoyed those, I did! Happy Friday! Tell these jokes to a friend…make them laugh, too!