THESE MADE ME LAUGH, I HOPE THEY DO YOU, TOO!
How to maintain a healthy level of insanity in retirement:
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down
- On all your check stubs, write “For Sexual Favors”
- Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get
- Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat
- Sing along at the opera
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I won! I won!”
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling “Run for your lives! They’re loose!”
- Tell your children over dinner, “due to the economy, we’re going to have to let one of you go”
- Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is”
Got a 10th or 11th? 🙂 Happy Saturday!