Tax Returns

During a recent Trump campaign stop, a heckler from the audience hollered, “Hey Trump, where are you hiding your tax returns?

The Donald politely responded, “I’ve found a very secure place that I’m certain they won’t be found.”

The insistent heckler, then shouted, “And just where is that, dummy”?

The Donald smiled and said, “They are underneath Obama’s college records, his passport application, his immigration status as a student, his funding sources to pay for college, his college records, and his Selective Service registration.

“What’s your next question?”



   2. SEND IT IN.

🙂   Got any funny or grizzly tax stories to share on TAX DAY?!!



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56 Responses to Tax Returns

  1. jerrydablade says:

    LOL, GOOD ONE! I thought that dude Rachel Maddow already released these? Oh that’s right, they weren’t Trump’s most recent. Well, by that standard, we would settle for Barack’s Elementary school Madrassa transcripts. I don’t have any unique, grizzly tax stories – they ALL hurt. “How much did you make? Send it in” indeed!


  2. bocopro says:

    In the US today, people who work legitimate jobs are forced to surrender part of their earnings to the gummint, which in turn gives that money to people who don’t work.

    Apparently, then, income taxes are simply a fine for daring to be productive and useful. Or, as one wag put it, a fine for reckless thriving.

    So, millions of otherwise honest people, most of whom are not professional writers, create marvelous works of fiction called “Income Tax Returns” on an annual basis as a sort of Rite of Spring.

    I like to do mine to the sounds of “O Fortuna” from the Carmina Burana.

    Works best if you don’t know the meaning of the lyrics. Knowing them sorta spoils the mood.

    Either that or “Night On Bald Mountain.”

    Actually, Bach’s “Tocatta and Fugue” would be a pro pos as well, n’est ce-pas?


  3. Like most unrealized 2nd and 3rd order effects, Trump has now taken off the table any foundation for rebuking a Democrat candidate who likewise may not release his/her taxes. But that’s just a piece of a common theme.

    I don’t have any tax nightmares, thankfully. I’ve used Turbotax for about a decade now, and it’s been pretty smooth sailing, even with various home sales, overseas pay and minor investments. Were I in charge of taxation however, I’d mandate an itemized synopsis of how taxpayer dollars were spent for the past tax year, be provided to all tax filers. Additionally, I’d end tax withholding, so the the burden [or lack of in many cases] was made crystal clear to taxpayers….at present, we labor under a facade….we generally don’t as much miss what we don’t see. Make taxpayers write a check each month to the federal, state and local governments…..and you’ll see a rising that makes the tea party pale in comparison.


  4. geeez2014 says:

    CI, I hope Turbotax has done right by you…overseas income can be harrowing to negotiate….Glad you’ve been happy with it.
    I love your idea of everyone writing a check, people truly don’t get how much they’re paying when they don’t see it..yes.
    I’m totally fine with presidents not presenting their taxes….it’s none of my business. Mine shouldn’t be theirs, either.

    Bocopro…Tax paying is certainly a RITE OF SPRING,isn’t it! Love that observation…even if you did post Rieu at my blog. Not a fan, normally, for ‘pretty music’ done by ‘pretty people,’ no matter what their talent level. Go figure.!
    Sadly, the poor have to go to gov’t now instead of local churches…churches are shrinking and they’ll probably lose their tax exemption status within the next 3 years, I predict….so they’ll not be able to help at all……both events which make me question how purposeful those things are.

    Mrs. Grundy, someone asked last night if the money we get when kicked off a plane is deductible!
    An important part of that situation is that the airlines are legally limited to only giving passengers $1200 a person, I think it was.

    Jerry….SEND IT IN…good, isn’t it? I always laugh at that one.


  5. geeez2014 says:

    OH NO! HERE WE GO AGAIN! DID TRUMP FIND A CHURCH?: Of course, he’s barely been in DC over a weekend since inauguration. And, I don’t BELIEVE he’d mentioned finding a church in DC, as Obama did.

    I personally don’t care if a president and family attend worship services; I’d prefer they did for the good things services do for believers, but I don’t care because it’s a personal thing.
    I did care when Obama never did because of, again, the lies. He, I do well remember, promised that he’d be finding a new church in D C….when asked over the years, he mentioned they go when they’re at Camp David, which I Googled and found he went to about 6 times in the 8 years, maybe less, I can’t remember. He did attend what the media always referred to as “a historically black church” from time to time..different ones, usually, and he attended “white” churches (if they’re like in LA, white churches are usually at least 1/4 Black) for official events, like the Nat’l Cathedral.
    Yes, the difference is DO NOT PROMISE ANYTHING and not do it.
    If Trump did ‘promise’ he’d be finding a church, I hold him to the same standards (or non standards) I held Obama to.


  6. geeez2014 says:


    MANY rallies/protests to get Trump to show his tax returns today. Turns out that Gerald Ford is the only other president who didn’t release his taxes…the only one in the last 40 years. Some only released 1 or 2 returns….others did more. Democrats released more years of returns….

    How many of you are hung up on Trump’s not releasing his, and some say being audited shouldn’t preclude releasing returns…do you know? Or WHY that might apply?


  7. bunkerville says:

    I always find October a more hospitable month to make my transaction. Of course, making sure the appropriate amount has already been sunk into the cesspool.


  8. Kid says:

    Good One Z !

    I don’t care about Trump’s tax return. Tax law is slanted to the rich as Warren Buffet points out while he still owes around a billion last I heard. Trump has Eleventy Billion. He’s rich. They’re just looking for something they can whine about becuase they’re running out of stuff which is why we see them concentrating on things like Kellyanne’s feet on the sofa and a bunch of he said she said stuff that I wouldn’t care about with a gun to my head.

    N Korea. Now that’s gonna get interesting.


  9. To be granted my security clearance, I had to endure a comprehensive financial disclosure. Not only is POTUS cleared to know everything the intelligence community knows, but he also interviewed for the position of serving the American people. He’s not legally bound to do so…….but I think it’s a testament to full disclosure and transparency.


  10. Mal says:

    I’ve always felt it was wrong to ask for anyone’s tax returns unless it was necessary (I use to when making real estate loans for the banks to verify an applicant’s income) but they could ask the IRS if he was in good standing with them. That would be reasonable, but that’s it.


  11. Not for security clearances?


  12. Baysider says:

    Totally on board with CI here. I’ve long advocated ending withholding to make the true burden apparent to all – fat chance of THAT happening! It makes me sick to hear people talk about getting their ‘refund’ as if the government was gifting them with something. Excuse me, that’s a return of excess charges, of windfall taxes — not a present.

    I’m not interested in candidates’ tax returns. I’m more interested in their character ideas, and executive ability.

    I, too, have used Turbo Tax for about 26 years — but only after taking tax courses and thoroughly understanding everything element I need to file. This year we had a complicated once-in-a-lifetime event. Turbo Tax is – well – not clear on many things. After filling out my own forms for this item, I reviewed these numbers with my accountant and paid him to explain the process and fill out the forms his way and compared. Do you know we used the same numbers and process, and Turbo Tax came up with a slightly less favorable result? We could never reconcile them! Accountant is a gruff former Marine, and he had disparaging words for the program based on past experiences with clients. For me, I like something that does my math! And I can’t bear the thought of individually entering all the securities transactions that occur in a given year. We’ve done that — and I am sooo over that.


  13. Kid says:

    Baysider, I use Turbo most of all becuase of the trade transactions. Filing that out is worse than being waterboarded.
    The government is going to tax, make it a flat tax somewhere around what I’m paying now and better lower of course. I’m just offended that in order to comply with teh IRS, I have to buy turbo tax, jump through hoops for half a day working on the crap.

    To my earlier OT, I just read where Jong ordered 600,000 out of the capitol so there will be enough room in the bomb shelters for the rest. He seems to be signaling non-cooperation.

    Time to get out the MOPs to go with the MOAB’s


  14. Mal says:

    I’ve never filed my own income taxes. The tax laws change so much each year I feel the CPA can probably save me more than his fee by just taking advantage of the things I’m unaware of. Besides, I want someone between me and the IRS in the event of an audit, which never happens due to it being professionally prepared. That’s my feeling, anyway.


  15. geeez2014 says:

    Bunkerville..yes, I’ve done that but the money has to BE THERE, anyway! I like getting it done NOW!

    Kid..N Korea…our East Coast or West Coast going to get it/ Or is Pyonyang going to get it before all of US are killed and our Left will be simply FURIOUS we didn’t die first! OH, wait…they WILL because most of them live on the E or W coast!
    I don’t think we’ll bomb N Korea….he’s begging for it, so he’s got something worse up his little ugly sleeve.
    You don’t file Trade transaction profits with Turbotax? WHAT?

    CI, Baysider, I think it’s an outrage that anyone can see anyone’s tax returns.

    Baysider, yes, we’ve really twisted American heads into thinking the GOV’T OWES US ITS MONEY….as if it’s not OUR money.

    Mal, I’m with you. I’d NEVER do my own taxes, I don’t care what it costs. First, it’s not an area of expertise, it’s not an area of particular interest, and I’m being spectacularly well served by my CPA who really cares and who also does my gazillionaire uncle’s taxes…which means I’m paying more than most but the sleep at night’s worth it.

    EVERYBODY: Check this out
    “Trump DEMANDS he rides in Queen’s coach in October” is the headline almost everywhere, but NEVER in any of the articles I’ve read does he say he DEMANDS it…I’d have thought that, if he DEMANDED it, they’d have a quote? ..The White House thinks it would be a good thing.

    DEMANDS?? 🙂


  16. Kid says:

    Z, Personally, I don’t think NK could hit us, but what do I know. Yet you can’t ignore someone who threatens to do it and is clearly working on the hardware to get it done.

    No, I use turbo Because of the incredible labor it would be to fill out 1040 D forms.


  17. Mal says:

    I just saw CI’s post about security clearances. If that was addressing my post, I still say no, because concern about security could be made to the IRS.


  18. Mal – it was. Historically the most prevelant reason for committing treason, is financial reasons. Thus, a large part of the security clearance process.


  19. I use H&R Blocks tax software. And this year is the latest I have ever filed. Not because of complexity but because of being at work 18 hours a day.
    The IRS.


  20. Kid says:

    CI, Security Clearance.

    How do you feel about obama not releasing anything about his immigration status, college admission metrics, college graduation status/grades, and the fact that presented a pathetically poor copy of an obama birth certificate many years after the public voiced their interest in one.

    Can you point us to a comment where you complained about any of that stuff?


  21. geeez2014 says:

    Kid, good point about the Obama information ….(remember the joke on my post, right?!) !!
    So Turbo is somehow easier…? Like you put stuff IN and it computes? never mind, you can see I don’t get this stuff. Thank GOD for my CPA Linda 🙂


  22. Kid – A response would comprise a rehashing of the debunked memes of the last eight years. Immigration status….for an American citizen? Please. But nice link. Bash CNN….offer WND?

    College transcripts are not required to obtain a security clearance. Financial disclosure is. But why, the political elite of one party should get a pass, no? We’ll likely see that with Jared Kushner’s security clearance as well. Omit something that would revoke mine and lose my job….but he’ll get a pass.

    And let’s not forget, that Trump LIED regarding releasing his tax returns. Don’t care [to quote you] what the current POTUS says….but wax on regarding what the previous one does?


  23. I’m not calling for legislation to mandate a release of tax returns. But I am noting the irony, the lies, and the fact that the GOP will not be able to invoke moral outrage when a Democrat does likewise.


  24. Kid says:

    Z, On the turbo tax, it simply downloads all the trade transactions from my broker and loads it in. Takes a couple seconds versus 15 days and a bottle of rum.


  25. I switched from SMS to Bourbon for my taxes….I’m a firm believer that Kentucky’s finest makes math less hard.


  26. Kid says:

    CI, Moral outrage does not exist in the sense that it has become impotent.
    My reply was merely my challenge that someone hammers on Trump because of Tax Returns but [apparently] doesn’t have any evidence of hammering on the last president where such hammering was such a target rich environment. Heck, I just hit on the surface stuff. Anyone that knows anything about obama and his personal history could easily question his ability to obtain security status. Add in his chief advisor val jarret. Honestly in my mind it’s like shooting dead fish in a barrel, but if you want to disagree, Ok. I’m down with that, or more accruately, I don’t care that much. The POS is out of office and I’m not interested in rehashing his incredbile lack of (Everything one could mention) for his qualifications to be POTUS. We Americans are at the point where if one doesn’t recognize what obama was and is, then it is wasted typing (like I’m doing now) to try to convince them otherwise. So, I’ll stop here.

    Final – I don’t care about Trump’s tax returns Especially as they may relate to security clearance.


  27. Kid says:

    CI, HA !


  28. Kid says:

    Back in the day – LONG time ago, I was a Jim Beam drinker. I never had much money so I didn’t have access to the finer stuff. Surely, better stuff was to be had. Only do the softer stuff these days.


  29. I don’t care about Trump’s tax returns Especially as they may relate to security clearance.

    Ah…but to coin an oft-quoted phrase from this very site……many people do. I’d just like to see some consistency from the electorate….instead of hypocrisy along party lines.

    Can’t do Jim Beam…..but I do recommend Larceny. Inexpensive…and gooooood.


  30. Kid says:

    Thanks for the Rec. Larceny. Though the most I do these days is some supermarket(half proof) vodka with lime juice and tonic water. I’ll keep it in mind though.

    I hate hypocrisy as much as misinformation. I can’t know what you’ve seen out and about, but I have never been interested in obama’s tax returns. they wouldn’t have even made the list.


  31. geeez2014 says:

    CI…”Bash CNN….offer WND?” Who is recommending WND? Is there a link above I didn’t see? This blog, GeeeZ, DESPISES WND, and has very OFTEN said so. This blog had an argument with its owner here, in comments, and I won and he never returned…little snowflake couldn’t say “you were right after all”…they have ridiculous information, almost as bad as MSNBC..and, lately, CNN, by the way. But, yes, I’ll bash BOTH CNN AND WND. And I am right in that.
    By the way, who CARES that the Republicans can’t evoke MORAL OUTRAGE? Like anybody’s LISTENING to the Republicans and like the news treats them equally? ridiculous, but I KNOW you think that’s the case.
    “This site” may have readers who care, but “this site” does not.;

    Kid, WELL SAID about Obama…and thanks for the Turbotax thing..sounds very easy.
    Vodka and BIG green olives with pimientos (or almonds if I can find them) 🙂

    Talk about ridiculous information, has anyone ever heard of STEVE PIECZENIK????


  32. Kid says:

    Z, I like smaller softer stuffed green olives, such as Manzanilla. We got some great ones at Sam’s Club years back but they havent’t had them since. The downside to the big box srtores… Almonds in vodka? Hmm, I may have to try that,

    I have never heard of Steve P.


  33. geeez2014 says:

    Kid, the almonds IN green olives are fabulous…kind of a crunch in the soft green olive…mmmm
    They have them with garlic inside, too, but that doesn’t float my boat.

    Ya, this Steven P apparently knows EVERYTHING there is to know…like how Israel caused 9/11 because all the security people in the Trade Center were Israelis and didn’t show up, and Building 7 was wired to fall, which means the large towers, too, were wired and because the owner of the World Trade Center, who’d just bought them, wanted them down to collect insurance, etc.
    Well, a dear woman I know is intrigued by this conspiracy stuff. I’m not. Steve P is supposedly someone who knows everything about what’s really going on in America, like how the Military got Trump elected, etc.
    WOW. OY.


  34. Kid says:

    Z, Yea, the conspiracy people are lost on such simple ideas such as – If we wanted to start a war in Iraq or anywhere else, we would not have had to kill 300 AMericans. Boom. Done. Nothing else needs to be said.

    Lots out there but I subscribe to this –


  35. Kid says:

    Short summary so here is more.
    Each airplane had 30 tons of alluminum. With most of it molten and making its way to the lower floor where sprinkler system were still opertive, the molten alluminum and water combined to create a large enough explosion to take out all the supports on that floor. The weigh of the floors above that became a pile driver taking out all floors below.

    Final summary is that if 9-11 was a planned event (like the moon landing), someone somewhere would have come forward, maybe on their death bed, to expose it. Nada. Nyet.


  36. Kid says:

    ..3000 Americans.


  37. geeez2014 says:

    Kid, this friend I talked about who’s intrigued with the conspiracy stuff came by for tea this afternoon…I finally said “you think things THIS BIG could be kept a secret?”

    nada Nyet is RIGHT, Kid. NO WAY


  38. Who is recommending WND? Is there a link above I didn’t see?

    Yes, above at 4:52.

    Even small conspiracies have a shot life life of secrecy. People talk, evidence surfaces. This is borne out by the numerous conspiracies proffered by both sides since 9/11.


  39. CI,
    You are spot on about the facade withholding.


  40. The IRS.


  41. Mal says:

    Kid & C.I., one HUGE difference between Trump and Obama is everyone knew who Trump was and his background. Obama? Nothing, because it was all sealed. Ergo, all the questioning and doubt, esp. when he went through such pains to seal it all.


  42. There’s differences galore, some better, some worse….but I stand by my original point….that while not required by law, a candidate interviewing for both the job of POTUS as well as clearance to see every secret known to the intelligence community….should not be treated as any more special than the citizens he is supposed to serve. Isn’t that part of that the Trump ‘revolution’ is supposed to fix…….political elitism and special favors?


  43. Mal says:

    Indeed, it IS suppose to work that way, CI. but it hasn’t and still doesn’t.
    Welcome to the real world.


  44. So “draining the swamp” is a scam?


  45. Kid says:

    The federal, state, and local governments Are the swamp. How much time to you allot to such a venture CI? lol.
    I guess I’ll have to maintain a loose list of accomplishments to report, but just off the top:
    -immigration actions. They are being deported and fewer are coming in. Even the chick with the 4 kids here – Booted. Love it. And hey, take the kids with you.
    -DOJ with sharp teeth again, lois lerner and rice up for additional review. how nice it would be if there were consequences. Like organized crime, this Could lead to a domino effect. I won’t bet 5 cents either way.
    – Widely believed Conservative added to the SC.
    – Working the trade deals, already has China accepting more US goods.
    – US attorneys appointed under obama gone, one was fired for being a jagoff refusing to unsderstand how government works.
    – Regulations being removed
    There is a lot more, so again I guess I’ll have to maintain a hit list. In this case (opposed to the POS in charge) this will be a fun thing to do.


  46. geeez2014 says:

    This blog doesn’t link to WND


  47. Kid – Respectfully, your post didn’t address my consistent point. Allow me to ask you this, if Hillary had won and Chelsea came to work at the White House, with a security clearance…and on a sworn statement, she knowingly omitted contacts with agents of a foreign government….should she be allowed to retain her clearance [something which would not be granted to me]?


  48. Kid says:

    CI, THe obvious answer is No, but as MAL suggested we’re in the real world and not the one we are supposed to be in. As far as I know, the only one proven to have omitted foreign contact incidents is Mike Flynn, who else are you talking about? Ivanka? Kushner?

    I have to say of all the things the feds are up to this one doesn’t rank big on my list, but as said, No it would not be acceptable to ahve that situation occur but also nothing we’re going to do about it either.


  49. Yep, my analogy was in reference to Kushner, who committed the very omission that I outlined above. If he’s absolved due to his status and placement…then the how ‘draining the swamp’ line is a sham.


  50. Mal says:

    “So draining the swamp was a scam?”. Nah. But good showmanship that got him elected, CI. Now hopefully he can get busy undoing all the damage of his predecessor.


  51. As you may suspect, I care little for showmanship, but quite a bit for the ethics and security rules our government is supposed to follow.


  52. Mal says:

    Agreed, but it got him elected, and to make chicken soup, first ‘ya gotta catch your chicken!


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