Kelly to Trump

Trump:  I need you to be Chief of Staff…Reince Priebus is a REAL….

Kelly:   STOP, Mr. President!!  Don’t insult people around me.

Trump:  Ya, ya, ya…fine.  Look, I really need you to take over.  Will you please do it?

Kelly:  Okay, President Trump, I’ll take the job of Chief of Staff,  but there are some sticking points, and they are…………

LISTEN TO ME.  I don’t give advice I don’t think is the right advice.  If you won’t listen, pick someone else.  No problem

STOP TWEETING about stuff you don’t know about.  Go ahead and be tough but only if you have had someone vet your tweet and it’s true and helpful.   Stop the personality stuff.

LET ME TAKE CHARGE.  I know what I’m doing and I need you to tell people to stay on board with me.  I’ve got your back now, you have mine.

NEVER INSULT ME IN PUBLIC.  If you do insult me publicly, I will leave in the next five minutes.  Trust me on that.

GET NEWT IN HERE.  He might be going to Rome with Calista, but we need his advice, too…I’m a military man, not a D.C. expert, and while I’m a quick learner, we can both use Newt’s experience.   I need to learn and so do you.

Trump:  Yes, SIR!   HIRED!



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51 Responses to Kelly to Trump

  1. The above points are all great….but will Trump listen? He’s been presiding over a drama-filled sh*t-show, and exercising little true leadership. Kelly should straightforwardly tell POTUS that his acceptance of the position rests on Trump ceasing attempts to dictate policy via Twitter…..ceasing the public contradictions of his own Cabinet members…..ceasing the petulant personal feuds [again, via Twitter]…and stop sabotaging his own agenda.

    I have high hopes for Kelly…..not so high for Trump.


  2. -FJ says:

    CI couldn’t recognize leadership if it bit him on the *ss. The RINO model has proven its’ ineffectiveness. Just look at “Mr. Obamacare”, John McCain.


  3. Thanks for trolling’ by……


  4. -FJ says:

    …that “Sir!” to you, CI. (“Thanks for trolling by, Sir!”)


  5. -FJ says:

    The pull out you officer’s sword and tell me how long it is.


  6. “Sir” is proffered as deference to rank, authority or respect. You’ve earned none with me. Go play with your ‘sword’.


  7. -FJ says:

    I didn’t have to earn it from you. It was conferred upon me by Presidential authority (Gerald Ford).


  8. -FJ says:

    …the same President who conferred it upon General Kelly.


  9. Not really sure what your point is. Do you feel better now?


  10. -FJ says:

    The President confers authority. His acts represent “leadership” and require no “counsel” or “consent” from his subordinates. For all of their “authority” is derived from “him”.


  11. -FJ says:

    ..and the Constitution (from which you claim to be an “insurgent“).


  12. You’ve predictably missed the point. What does any of that have to do with your absurd notion, that I refer to you as ‘Sir’?


  13. Good thing you added the Constitution [predictably, again] as a post script.


  14. -FJ says:

    It demonstrates a capacity for recognizing and deferring to authority. One which you sorely lack.


  15. You have no authority here. Thanks for playing.


  16. Is this a private fight or can anyone join in?


  17. While I don’t agree with CI’s never Trumpism, I do agree with his assessment.
    I do believe he is capable of leadership, but has not exhibited it properly in his current role.
    Leadership builds a team working together.


  18. -FJ says:

    But I forgive you. I didn’t have much use for “authority” when I was in the service, either. I resented just about each and every salute.


  19. -FJ says:


    Leadership needs to constantly re-define itself lest it become the playground of idiots (ie – Obama’s DOJ). The current “system” is beyond broken. It needs to be torn down and re-built, from the ground, up.


  20. -FJ says:

    …and if that means that a few of Trumps advisors become the victim’s of friendly fire, so be it!


  21. -FJ says:

    You can’t build much of a team when it’s staffed full of Quisling Never-Trumpers and Democrats.


  22. -FJ says:

    Trump surrounds himself with military officers because they’re used to working for idiot “superiors” and deferring to “authority”. Authority comes from the office, not the man. It’s purely “symbolic”.


  23. -FJ says:

    Trump doesn’t need a general’s “personal” loyalty. He just needs people who are willing to call him “Sir”. It’s surprising just how many people aren’t capable or willing to even go THAT far…


  24. -FJ says:

    …and with every new staffer following Kelly’s lead, Trump builds a “team”. Courtesy can be contagious.


  25. -FJ says:

    At some point, Alcoholics Anonymous meet Pascal: “Fake it until you make it..” However, this causality of the habit is more complex than it may appear: far from offering an explanation of how beliefs emerge, it itself calls for an explanation. The first thing to specify is that Pascal’s “Kneel down and you will believe!” has to be understood as involving a kind of self-referential causality: “Kneel down and you will believe that you knelt down because you believed!” The second thing is that, in the “normal” cynical functioning of ideology, belief is displaced onto another, onto a “subject supposed to believe,” so that the true logic is: “Kneel down and you will thereby MAKE SOMEONE ELSE BELIEVE!” One has to take this literally and even risk a kind of inversion of Pascal’s formula: “You believe too much, too directly? You find your belief too oppressing in its raw immediacy? Then kneel down, act as if you believe, and YOU WILL GET RID OF YOUR BELIEF – you will no longer have to believe yourself, your belief will already ex-sist objectified in your act of praying!” That is to say, what if one kneels down and prays not so much to regain one’s own belief but, on the opposite, to GET RID of one’s belief, of its over-proximity, to acquire a breathing space of a minimal distance towards it? To believe – to believe “directly,” without the externalizing mediation of a ritual – is a heavy, oppressing, traumatic burden, which, through exerting a ritual, one has a chance of transferring it onto an Other…

    – Slavoj Zizek, “With or Withoput Passion


  26. Mal says:

    Any new position is a learning experience and becoming President is no different. Trump is learning every day. The question continues to be, is he learning from all this because he seems to continue shooting himself in the foot. On the other hand, his “chutz-pah” is what got him past the group of 17 and into the W.H. Would the left have been as mean and obnoxious had any of the others been elected?


  27. bocopro says:

    I’d just tell him a li’l story, kinda like this:

    Bored with his life and frustrated by government incompetence, a rich and successful man found a key which opened the door to a special room from which wafted an intoxicating scent of power.

    Ignoring friends who cautioned “Beware ye who would enter here” and family who advised “Uneasy lies the head which wears the crown,” he ventured inside and filled his chest with the elixir of command and his head with the opiate of authority.

    Portraits of those who had before him drunk the heady ambrosia of sovereignty glared down at him in warning, their stern jaws and hawkish eyes prophesying the danger from conspirators, the painful fall from narcissism, the humiliating collapse from hubris.

    In the center of the room stood a richly appointed table laden with enticing comestibles, glittering trinkets, and dazzling weapons. As he considered his choice, a ghostly voice from behind him whispered, “The venom of the serpent on the caduceus causes migraines, peptic ulcers, and explosive diarrhea.”

    As he turned to find the source of the omen, a second voice said in his ear, “Touch not the shiny baubles, for they bring a long, slow, withering death from indigestion, urinary tract infections, and permanent constipation from colonic dehydration.”

    Jerking his head around to locate the second admonition, he saw a bony hand writing with its dusty finger on the wall, “The Jeweled Blue Falcon, beautiful and useful though he may appear, will turn on thee and turn thy glee to grief.”

    Loathe to submit to vague auguries from disembodied echoes, he turned again to the table and chose as his first prize the very dish identified as most lethal, the complex winged staff entwined by serpents which guaranteed free tonics and salves and potions for everyone forever.

    Next, out of pure obstinacy he arranged a selection of heavily decorated and very expensive figurines for his amusement to serve as his Pattons and Hornblowers in his favorite pastime, Commander of the World, inside his walled and fortified realm.

    And then headstrong to the last, he grabbed the Jewel-encrusted Blue Falcon to carry his messages to his troops in the field, carefully nestling it beneath his chin where it sat like an ostentatious scarfpin on the golden folds of his robe.

    At first the days were full and exciting, with new challenges and clever victories in his battles against the evil forces infesting his domain. But as days lengthened into weeks and weeks into months, he began to notice that he was sleeping less and eating more, his mind beginning to wander and his trousers apparently shrinking at the waistline.

    His bathroom excursions for a while were unpredictable and unpleasant, but then became consistently more painful and less frequent. His favorite foods no longer pleased him but instead caused him heartburn and gas attacks, eventually demanding that he alter his habits and seek help for the painful elimination.

    The toy soldiers he had so enthusiastically selected became tarnished and began losing their allure, thoroughly disappointing him in his intricate board stratagems. His life became exasperating, disheartening, unfulfilling, and unpleasant.

    Finally one day as he set up his board pieces for a counterattack on the combined entrenched axis forces of Monotony, Tedium, and Logjam, he doubled over in pain from the blockage in his bowels.

    At that moment, the clasp on the Blue Falcon popped open, and as he coughed to clear his throat, the pin ripped open his carotid, exsanguinating him to the point of incapacity and throwing open the door of his special room to the mob which had gathered outside protesting his invalid presence in the room and offering him free travel out of the solar system.


  28. -FJ says:

    It’s a thankless job if one is unpretected by the cloak of Gyges.


  29. geeez2014 says:

    CI and FJ, please stop. This isn’t like either of you and it’s not too respectful to GeeeZ. Thanks…

    What might you guys add to my list of what Kelly would probably ask of Trump before he accepted?

    Bocopro: While I think Trump must have a gigantic ego, I think that, also, in some ways, he’s extremely insecure…he adores his dad’s memory but I suspect dad was tough…to me, when Trump’s standing there hearing Hail to the Chief, his subconscious (or conscious) is thinking “Dad, SEE? Look at ME” And I think that’s something ALL presidents would think about, but it’s a bit pathological and unhealthy.
    Having said that, I do believe Trump does want to do good by Americans…he’s talked about this for years, since an interview with Oprah about 30 years ago; he sounds exactly like he did then, driven to help Americans…so he does have that going for him.
    BUT, he needs to get off the SOVEREIGNTY thing…Kings are sovereigns, presidents are not….though it is, as you say, “a heady ambrosia of sovereignty”

    Matter of fact, now that I think of it, that Oprah interview as I remember it painted him as a conservative, so I hesitate when I hear Republicans criticize him for having donated to Democrats….if you know business, you know a big entrepreneur will donate to those groups in power to get what he wants…..goes with the territory. They’re businessmen, not saints…and Trump personifies this.

    SO, do you think KELLY WILL BE GOOD FOR TRUMP….???


  30. FJ typed in: You can’t build much of a team when it’s staffed full of Quisling Never-Trumpers and Democrats.

    I have to wonder how many “Quislings” are in the West Wing.


  31. I believe that some of the administrative aides (confidential secretaries) might be leaking information. In their own minds, they are “saving the country.” True believers and all that.


    I can’t imagine that Kelly will try to tell his boss much of anything with regard as to how the boss should behave.


  32. I must say that I do not favor the idea that Trump should stop Tweeting. It’s his way of getting the message out. Yes, sometimes he shoots from the hip. But much of his two Twitter feeds are appropriate.


  33. -FJ says:

    My sincerest apologies, Ms. Z. I’m sorry we left such a mess.


  34. -FJ says:

    …and I agree with AoW, that Gen. Kelly is too good an officer to issue any ultimatums to his CinC.


  35. I can’t imagine that Kelly will try to tell his boss much of anything with regard as to how the boss should behave.

    AOW – It would come in the use of professional advice and mentoring; if it were discarded, and the situation remained stars quo……Kelly would likely resign.


  36. geeez2014 says:

    I TOTALLY agree with CI…Kelly didn’t take this job not to be effective and if Trump had been handling better his tweets (nobody wants him to stop, just write them like you went to Wharton and not like a big spoiled kid) and his staff, he’d not be in the TOTAL MESS the public views this WH in.


  37. bocopro says:

    “SO, do you think KELLY WILL BE GOOD FOR TRUMP….???”

    Based on what I’ve read about his military service, and especially his early years with all that hitchhiking and rail riding and sea service and enlisted MarCorps duty, one would think he’d be good for ANY PotUS.

    DJT, however, is whimsical, vindictive, flighty, explosive, and unpredictable. Though I share your belief that he genuinely wants to serve the nation and its people faithfully and honorably, it appears he will not be afforded that opportunity, and many more good scouts will be sacrificed on the unstable altar of his murky and fickle standards of loyalty, integrity, honor, and discipline.

    At this juncture, it appears that DJT is perhaps the worst person who could have been elected PotUS last November . . . except for all the others in the race. To me, he is a necessary evil, the ipecac for our national case of indigestion, the tetracycline for our national pandemic of social disorder, and the Nurse Ratched for pulling the Band-Aids off our various scrapes and skidmarks all at once.

    Tell ya what, tho . . . I wouldn’t work in that place for all the gold in Arabia, all the glory of a Medal Of Freedom, and all the good vibes of the Academy of Arts and Sciences.


  38. Kid says:

    So.. Who wants to play Twister ?


  39. geeez2014 says:

    Bocopro; I think Trump was the only won who could have possibly beat Hillary and the worst of all the winners….though I couldn’t stand plenty of the other nominees. He seems worse to me now than he did then, sadly. I keep hoping against hope. So I get excited when he makes good selections like this but I’ve been disappointed later all most every time.
    I still like Tillerson, so i was devastated when the rumors were that he’d taken a few days to think things over after DJT’s treatment of Sessions…
    I still like DeVos, Choo, etc.
    AND I have to say BEN CARSON must be doing a FAAABULOUS job because the media hasn’t picked up anything to slam him with, right?!!

    Kid, hilarious…absolutely HILARIOUS. Laughed out loud~


  40. Kid says:

    Thanks Z.

    ” I think Trump was the only won who could have possibly beat Hillary and the worst of all the winners”

    The only other one I would have voted for was Cruz, who probably would not have won. Seriously even *I* was to the point, I’m not voting for any of the 15 others. I would have felt subservient. Not gonna happen. And the other touch of logic for that desision is that having clinton in there would have made the ‘litter pile’ large enough that even blind people could see it. As in Can’t Get Any Worse = must get better.

    Just my opinion but if you want to feel better about things, concentrate on what gets done versus the daily dialogue. Today I see where Trump is threatening to make congress have to use the health care that they stick the rest of us with. That’s AWESOME! I could give a * less what any of the players on the stage say or tweet about anything. It’s meaningless to me.


  41. Reince is not the bad guy some proTrumpers have made him out to be.
    He would have made a great Chief of Staff to any “normal” president.
    He fully supported this one regardless of some detractors said.
    He just wasn’t well suited to the environment Trump has allowed to happen.
    Kelly will have none of that.
    At least Kelly is going in with an understanding of the snake pit and will come properly prepared.


  42. Kid says:

    Ed, I can’t think of any Rence accomplishments.


  43. geeez2014 says:

    Kid, Trump needs to SCREAM FROM THE ROOFTOPS this good stuff that’s happening because people aren’t hearing it. he’s TWEETING, let him do more…professionally, articulately…get the word out SIMPLY, no put-downs of anybody. I agree with you.

    Reince Priebus is NOT A BAD GUY and he DID do VERY well for the RNC around the time of the election and before.

    He did not have enough experience to have made a great Chief of Staff….no way…He could have learned with a different president, however.

    People are allowed to back bite and leak at this WH…like a sieve, and he couldn’t stop that.

    Am hoping Kelly can….he’d better. And Trump had better LISTEN TO HIM.


  44. Kid, he got Trump elected.


  45. Kid says:

    ED, I meant after he went to the White House.

    Hey, maybe Trump has got the left liking and supporting Sessions. The old triple reverse.


  46. “What have you done for me… lately?” 🙂


  47. Kid says:

    Ed, I have done So much for you lately.


  48. Imp says:

    “standing there hearing Hail to the Chief, his subconscious (or conscious) is thinking “Dad, SEE? Look at ME” And I think that’s something ALL presidents would think about, but it’s a bit pathological and unhealthy.”

    Actually I’ll assume that this apples to JFK as he did everything that Daddy Joe fixed and demanded of his kids. The Presidency cost him a ton of money to buy. Clinton too, who was raised by women in a whore house, which is most likely where he picked up his life long penchant for misogyny.

    Next would be Bush 43 honoring GHW Bush. And possibly Jeb’s motivation when he joined the gang of 17? Jeb’s dropping out put an end to that dynasty and surely it must have hurt him immensely.

    Marco wanting impress his father who he constantly talked about on the campaign as a simple Bar tender and his mother a maid. The dirt poor immigrant Horatio Alger story that you can be anything in America myth. A real tear jerked that one. Ted Cruz could have used the same lines had he won.

    I’d say all of them in one way or another might have that shared “affliction”?


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