(Z did NOT write these):


1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.

3. The man at the BBQ Grill is the closest thing to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Request the late check-out.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.

8. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.

9. Play with passion or don’t play at all…

10. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.

11. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

12. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

13. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.

14. You marry the girl, you marry her family.

15. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.

16. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

17. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

18. Never turn down a breath mint.

19. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.

20. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.

21. Thank a veteran. Then make it up to him.

22. Eat lunch with the new kid.

23. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.

24. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.

25. Manners maketh the man.

26. Give credit. Take the blame.

27. Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.

28. Write down your dreams.

29. Take time to snuggle your pets, they love you so much and are always happy to see you.

30. Be confident and humble at the same time.

31. If ever in doubt, remember whose son you are and REFUSE to just be ordinary!

32. In all things lead by example not explanation.

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20 Responses to RULES TO TEACH YOUR SON 

  1. bocopro says:

    Heard several of those in varying editions, but then I was raised by grandparents before the advent of TV who’d already brought up 8 kids and had distilled their experience and wisdom down to clever aphorisms and homilies which they applied to teachable moments.

    Lotta proverbs and parables, too, since my grandmother was a very devout Christian who spoke frequently with Jesus, especially when she was out in her garden. Loved to quote the Bible . . . AND Shakespeare, although she’d never read anything he ever wrote (she picked up snippets from her children who learned them in school).

    I think that’s the key — how Dad and Mom had learned to put their little sayings into context with some real or current event. Otherwise, some of the profound wisdom goes over kids’ heads.

    One time Dad (grandfather) and I (about age 6) were at a general fixit guy’s shop and he was havin trouble with some of his workers. Dad watched the spat and wasted energy for a while, then we left, and as we drove away he said, “Never sleep with the hired help.”

    I had NO idea what the hell that meant, but it stuck with me and as I grew older began to make sense. Old man Couchman had been too friendly with his laborers, treating them like family, and they took advantage of his paternalism. Of course the other deeper layer sank in when I found myself in charge of military people, often up to 50% female at my last assignment.

    Another he told me was, “Boy, if you find yourself in a job or a relationship which is turning you into someone you wouldn’t want to sit down and have dinner with, get out of that and go do somethin else.”

    I used another of his summations as the final quatrain in a lengthy poem I did on my life in retrospect:

    It’s like my granddad told me: “Son,
    when you have seen your whole life’s run
    and never upset anyone,
    you haven’t got much said or done.”


  2. JerryDaBlade says:

    Good one Boco. Gotta break a couple of eggs if you want an omelle.
    I like #4, Z. I’m a fan of the show Pawn Stars. Also, bring in an expert when needed and don’t bid against yourself. #13 hasn’t aged well. No booger rags in my pocket! 🙂


  3. kidme37 says:

    Lots of good ones in there Z. You learn how and why to do all that stuff a lot more will come along when needed.

    I didn’t see anything in there about emergency situations though. Learn how to change a flat. That kind of stuff. Course the title is rules to teach, not things to teach.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 2 and 4 I don’t get.
    17 is how Miss Michigan was my prom date.
    My handerkchief is not for my nose, it’s for hers. It’s always clean.


  5. MAL says:

    All good advice to live by. It had to be by someone who had been around the block a few times ’cause you learn all those from experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Mustang says:

    @ Ed … in a negotiation, whoever first mentions a dollar amount (of anything) loses, cuz you either just revealed the upper limit of your position or the least you’ll accept. Years ago I worked as a headhunter and gave seminars on how to negotiate a salary. This is at the interview stage, of course, and employers all have salary ranges. If you fall for the “tell me what you’re looking for in salary and benefits,” your response tells the prospective employer whether you have business acumen. I would first advise … never go into an interview without knowing all you can about the company, including their salary range for the position you’re looking for. I’d even say never go into any negotiation until you know who and what you’re negotiating with.

    Semper Fi

    Liked by 3 people

  7. MAL says:

    NOW you tell me, Mustang! ;o)

    Liked by 2 people

  8. geeez2014 says:

    MUSTANG…good advice! I see #4 as DO NOT SHOW ALL YOUR CARDS RIGHT AWAY!!

    I believe it was IBM years ago which took potential employees to nice lunches….the story goes that if someone salted their meal before tasting, they were not considered!!

    ED…I always WALK down the steps into our pool, so that wasn’t my choice, either!

    KID, good advice on “what to do if…”!!

    JERRY: I’m kind of envious of two women I know who I find TERRIBLY elegant because they’ve always carried lacy handkerchiefs with them…my friend Jackie and my MOM.

    BOCOPRO…i just love that advice…MAKE IT APPLY, MAKE IT HUMAN, MAKE IT OURS…not just pontification. I’ve made the mistake of befriending employees of mine and it’s not smart. Sad, but true. Stopped that….then I felt the employees think I’m a bitch 🙂 hA!!!
    Interesting that you mention Jesus and Shakespeare in the same sentence because I just read one of the best books of apologetics on Jesus EVER…….one of the points is how no author could have written any really interesting literary character using Jesus because all really interesting characters CHANGE, they GROW, they get EXPOSED for shortcomings and IMPROVE, etc etc…It’s how you write, create a STORY…..not JESUS…no change ….ever. SO much in this book TOO GOOD TO BE FALSE.
    I’d have liked your Granddad!!


  9. kidme37 says:

    Z, Girls walk into a pool, guys dive in. Maybe for good reason. My step on and his girlfriend were here one summer and they dove into the pool using the diving board. She surfaced and said her bottoms came off. I said, Geeez I sure was looking in the wrong direction.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Bob says:

    Reading the list makes me tired. All that stuff sounds good, and most is common sense or manners. You have to understand that most people in the world either don’t have common sense, or are totally bereft of mannerly conduct.

    Which leads to the following observations.

    1. Always be quick to take credit for your achievements or some dork from New York will take it from you.
    2, Review your heros occasionally. I had a certain set of heros in my childhood and as the years passed found that some had real problems. If you have heros choose them wisely.
    3, Don’t marry the girl if you think her mom is ugly or stupid. Things will not get better. (from a friend)
    4. Choose your fights carefully, and never openly criticize your boss. This is a career death wish.
    5. Don’t let little people get you down.

    There, now. A little seasoning to add to the collection of aphorisms.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Baysider says:

    I flat don’t understand the first 3. Not interested in anything with “passion: because it’s a trigger word to me. Otherwise, I’m in. especially with 6, 8 and 12. 12. Did I say 12? Yes, TWELVE!!
    Can’t say it enough! When a lady in our bible study died several years ago one of the others was dismayed that her nieces who arranged the service never mentioned bible study which was central to her life, and she was deeply embedded in it. I commented then “write your own eulogy” and then not taken my advice. But I’ve started on Mr. B’s.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Mustang says:

    33. If you can keep your head while everyone around you is losing theirs, then you don’t understand how serious the issue really is.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Baysider says:

    Often true, Mustang. But the mask wearing issue has really sparked 2 camps – and I am definitely in the one that is keeping my head while all around me are losing theirs. Some polls show some Americans believe 9% of the country has died from Covid! Must be the ones with Bernie stickers on their car, and who wear masks while they drive.


  14. Bay: Radical Fundamentalist Covidianism


  15. MAL says:

    I just learned a cousin living on a farm in Fresno has COVID but no fever, etc. and uses a nebulizer with asthma meds and its been a piece of cake. She says others she knows have been doing the same and they haven’t had a fever, either, but all have been diagnosed as having COVID.
    Just sayin’……………..I’m getting a nebulizer and a prescription……just in case…because early treatment is a must to be effective.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. geeez2014 says:

    MAL, that’s REALLY disconcerting that they don’t have fevers…it’s one of THE things many stores and churches and other public places people go into are using to make sure people don’t have COVID.
    I wonder if they have correct test results….I hope she continues to do well….I’m guessing she’s no spring chicken.

    MUSTANG…nice one! I often say that when you’re on an airplane and there’s a problem, just look at the flight attendants; if they’re calm, YOU can be calm!! 🙂

    BOB…I SO believe your point about girls and their mothers is VERY TRUE!!!!!!!! Hilarious…and true. My hero choices have changed, too.

    BAYSIDER…yes yes yes… at the ocean? NUTS. 9%?? HAAA!! Well, Biden things TWO MILLION of us have died, so…..



  17. Baysider says:

    I’ve read that older people may be less likely to have a fever – I think they’re looking at fevers over 100. Schumer’s smarmy manner is grating. But, then, we have Mitch McConnell’s mumbles.


  18. geeez2014 says:

    Baysider, actually “FEVER” is mostly described as “over 100”, you’re right…young or old. They are looking for ‘over 100’….
    Have not heard it’s likely older people might not have fever….perhaps it’s because they get so much sicker far before the 100 degrees …I hope not!!!
    Oh, McConnell’s a total creep but I don’t think he’s NEAR the LIES and NASTINESS of Schumer…and that isn’t a prejudiced observation….
    I have rarely heard McConnell be that nasty….he can be difficult, but NEVER ugly.


  19. Baysider says:

    <b<Kaiser Health News: Older adults with Covid-19, …. have several “atypical” symptoms, …. Covid-19 is typically signaled by three symptoms: a fever, an insistent cough and shortness of breath. But older adults — the age group most at risk of severe complications or death from this condition ― may have none of these characteristics.

    A new Australian report found 20% of ‘cases’ now presenting without fever. Don’t know if that’s sick or just a case diagnosed with no symptoms. It read like they had symptoms, just not fever.

    Mal, if you get a nebulizer I STRONGLY recommend one connected to a power source, not battery operated. I got the latter, runs off my USB port. But I understand now you get better penetration with the other. I nebulize a weak, food grade hydrogen peroxide solution in a sterile saline solution.


  20. MAL says:

    Thanks, Baysider. I never thought about a battery driven nebulizer. I always prefer a/c power because typically it is more powerful and you don’t have to worry about recharging or replacing batteries.


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