YOU JUST HAVE TO READ THESE!! ENJOY!

When one door closes and another door opens,

you are probably in prison.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

To me, “drink responsibly”  means don’t spill it.

(Z’s personal favorite…just SO clever!!)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Age 60 might be the new 40,  but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When I say, “The other day,”  I could be referring to any time

between yesterday and 15 years ago.

(Z:  this is so true, too)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I had my patience tested. I’m negative.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer,  it comes back as a Tupperware lid

that doesn’t fit any of your containers.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you,

just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,”

it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

(Z;  this cracked me up, too..so true!!!!)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I finally got eight hours of sleep.

It took me three days, but whatever.

(Z: This is my life story so I didn’t find this clever or funny!)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I run like the winded.

(Z; Hilarious)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I hate when a couple argues in public,

and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When someone asks what I did over the weekend,

I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like

a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I don’t mean to interrupt people.

I just randomly remember things

and get really excited.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When I ask for directions,

please don’t use words like “east.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes.

That would be boring.

Spend 30 seconds in my head.

That’ll freak you right out.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Sometimes, someone unexpected comes

into your life out of nowhere,

makes your heart race,

and changes you forever.

We call those people cops.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

 

Z:  HOPING YOU ENJOYED THESE, TOO!  Pretty clever and mostly SO TRUE!

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30 Responses to YOU JUST HAVE TO READ THESE!! ENJOY!

  1. kidme37 says:

    Very funny. I laughed at some of these but enjoyed them all. Herd of turtles and tupperware lid..
    I finally talked Mad into tossing the tupperware since at all shapes and sizes is impossible to put away. She agreed, doesn’t use it anymore but hasn’t tossed it yet either. She has replaced it all with 3 different sizes of square containers that nest in each other though.

    Like

  2. geeez2014 says:

    Kid, SO glad you laughed, too…I REALLY thought these were worth posting!
    And yes, on Tupperware. Actually, I use ‘Lock’nLock’ now…..I put the lids inside the containers so that helps!
    xxx

    Like

  3. geeez2014 says:

    This is not short but by four minutes, you get the picture. This is one FINE conservative lawyer a nd he’s won several big cases lately….

    Do any of you think this guy might be right? “Justice will be restored”…He says Biden won’t be president because he’ll be in prison….He says Trump was winning when, as we know, suddenly counting stopped in important states and it gave the Left time to harvest tons more vallots and shove them into the count. He has quite some info, ….

    HAVE WE REALLY ANY HOPE? As the interviewer asks “before Dec 2, when the electoral college calls the election?”

    Probably not. SO,…then what? 😦

    Like

  4. Bob says:

    I know Lin Wood is a respectable, ambitious and good lawyer, but in this one instance I will wait to see what happens. We all know the Dems cheated by the thousands of ballots, but that’s nothing different. That’s how Lyndon Johnson got his first senate seat, and that’s how JFK’s father, Joe Kennedy bought tine Chicago racketeer votes to put him over the top.

    This country really needs to get serious, in a .45 caliber way, of punishing people who cheat at voting. So many times this means life and death to the electorate that it is justifiable.

    There. I said it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Bob says:

    Z: You can really delete the last comment of mine.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. geeez2014 says:

    SO…do I send a little $$$ to Georgia’s Senate race or is my $25 so stupid against the SOros Machine and others, why bother?!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. MAL says:

    Those are cute ones, Z. I love twisting old sayings like those.
    I watched the entire video you posted and sure hope he’s right ’cause there’s not much time left before the inauguration. While trying to instill confidence it will happen in time, he did show concern about the timing. I’ll take all the positivity I can get at this point in time.

    Like

  8. MAL says:

    Z, the size of a donation isn’t the only important thing. It shows the amount of support. Like when I donated to Trump both times, I’d never donated to a presidential campaign before but did to show my support with $25 or $50 despited his being the wealthiest to ever run. I’m sure it impresses them.

    Like

  9. geeez2014 says:

    MAL, thanks…that’s what I thought of the video.
    And yes, on feeling like Georgia Republicans are encouraged by the mere fact that we ARE giving…that’s a good thing!

    I REALLY WANTED TO CHOKE ERIC (THE LEPRAUCHAN) SHAWN AND NEIL CAVUTO JUST NOW FOR DISDAINING THE TRUMP MARCHES IN WASHINGTON….
    Eric even said how despicable some stupid sign was, which read something awful like “Get BlaCks and …” I don’t remember it was so bad. I couldn’t help thinking of all the TRULY awful things ANTIFA and BLM have said AND done about our country and Whites, and that noticing one friggin’ sign at a Trump event is very low.

    I can’t STAND Eric Shawn and this just showed me I was right.

    ALL of FOX now is saying THIS RACE IS OVER..MOVE ON….NONE of them is paying the least bit of attention to anything Trump’s doing….Wouldn’t you THINK a total RECOUNT IN GEORGIA might give them a HINT that maybe there WERE problems?

    Sadly, I believe nobody thinks the differences found if there was fraud will number enough that Trump takes any of the states in question.

    Like

  10. Baysider says:

    “We” loved them. (Except I prefer people use words like “east” in directions. 🙂 ) And, indeed, 9 pm is the new midnight.

    I only wish I could truly believe the attorney’s expectations that Biden will be in jail. It’s all true about the theft. It is SO clear that the left came in the middle of the night and dumped a ton of fake ballots. That’s what makes re -counts inconclusive. I think no one is going to jail. What they need is an insider who testifies and others who corroborate. It’s interesting that the Dominion voting services started in Venezuela and came in with Soros and Clinton ties.

    Have you heard about a supposed call from President Trump to have the public send letters to the white house requesting a full audit of the election? It sounds spurious, but I’m trying to think my way through it.

    Like

  11. Baysider says:

    And I also donated. I think it’s important to get high, high numbers of donors behind this.

    We are on a runway to the “man of sin” built on a foundation of lies and to get the results this lawyer talks about where the truth will all out to the detriment of the CIA, Soros and the deep state we need Jesus Christ in charge, not, sadly, Jehu.

    Like

  12. geeez2014 says:

    BAYSIDER, I did fill in that email form about the election…mine was to the Supreme Court…
    Not sure what is spurious about it…probably a complete waste of time.

    For so long, I’ve LONGED for SOMEONE honest to come forth..about ANYTHING the Left does!…we’ve had some honest observers tell hair raising stories of fraud but they fade away…one even recanted, which makes the whole push look awful.

    https://navms.com/the-us-chief-prosecutor-for-election-crimes-resigned-after-being-ordered-to-investigate-the-election/

    You might find this fascinating, too…Not sure which, Pilgrim or Pilger, I think it’s Pilger..is a dear friend and compatriot of LOIS LERNER!! but, NO FRAUD…HOnest people here, right? (Smile)

    Glad you donated…you’ve convinced me, thanks!!!

    Like

  13. Baysider says:

    What’s spurious is we get all kinds of misinformation about campaigns to get on, including legitimate ones that are years past their due date. People make up all kinds of stuff and throw it out on the web like chaff. This sounded like a likely candidate to be one of ‘those’ stories.

    Like

  14. kidme37 says:

    Baysider, the thing about individuals sending letters has to be a total scam. Maybe even cooked up by the USPS to drum up stamp sales. In any case, $100 say’s it’s BS.

    Like

  15. Send money to Georgia. at least you won’t have to wonder what would have happened if you did.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. kidme37 says:

    Z, put me in the camp of “Wake me up when something happens” and also someone who would not bet a penny on 99% of the stuff on the net about this election.

    Having said this, with DJT ahead by 400,000 in MI, and having enough ballots (100% for Biden) appear after 2 am to turn that election, big bucks says this is fraud on a massive scale.

    I also believe that (as reported) there are ballot numbers in lots of places in excess of 100% of registered voters. Another big bet on my part for fraud.

    PA is probably the worst example of massive fraud here. Also massive numbers of ballots arriving after 2 am, all for Biden. Republican count watchers disallowed, and more.

    Republican count watchers disallowed to watch all over the place. 100% evidence of fraud.

    I also believe software in play was hacked to turn some number of DJT votes into Biden votes and in such a way that it would be untraceable. Believe me, you can do Anything with software which is why electronic voting should never be a part of our process.

    Ballots, filled out and counted by hand. Period.

    Unfortunately, even if Lin Wood is successful, there will not be a widespread effort to uncover the fraud countrywide or likely not even all the swing states. The popularvote totals will be laughable BS. If they can turn PA and maybe one other state so that DJT has it they’ll just stop there. We will never know what the true vote counts are. Not even close.

    I also read where “democrats” are heading to Georgia in large numbers to vote in the runoff Senate election(s). Will those votes count? I believe they will. Voting is totally out of control in this country to the point that we are likely just a shade above N Korea.

    This is what they did in Arkansas? Alabama? to overturn that Judge in the Senate race where he was falsely accused of sexual assault.

    If you don’t have borders you don’t have a country. If you don’t have a valid voting/counting process you don’t have a country. The dems have always cheated. People personally involved in it have testified to this. This time the dems went beyond nuclear with the illegal.

    If they get away with it, America does not exist. Probably already doesn’t with the level of lawlessness but this will seal the deal.

    Like

  17. geeez2014 says:

    BAYSIDER…I see. I guess I had so many send me that one request that I felt it had to be real and had to be now. I see your point.

    KID, the letter can be snail mail but I got forms to the Supreme Court that were legitimate and emailed there….
    I totally agree with you on all you said….Yes, I’ve been saying YOU DON’T HAVE A COUNTRY WITHOUT BORDERS constantly AND I add “NO OTHER COUNTRY HAS NO BORDERS”…NONE..NONE, right?
    But us slobs? That’s the ridiculous “KINDNESS” I’m always saying the Lefties hide behind when destroying our country…they’re so KIND, paying for illegals, etc etc. SO KIND….they seem not to give a damn about OUR KIDS.

    MASSIVE FRAUD is right and every station EXCEPT NewsMax and OAN is denying it.

    By the way, folks, I’ve been carping about OAN being so badly produced and, suddenly, it’s looking quite professional. I can’t help but wonder if Mr. Trump has a little to do with that$$$$ 🙂

    Like

  18. kidme37 says:

    I’ve heard rumors of DJT getting involved in media. If he does have to leave the White House, I hope he will open a conservative news station to continue the fight or at least present a common sense alternative to the Worse Than Russia Ever Was American media.

    Like

  19. geeez2014 says:

    KID, I said the other day I SO HOPE he does that…exactly. Glad you’ve heard the possibility, too.

    WHY NOT? 70 million people is a pretty darned good viewership!
    Did you see this?

    I saw some footage on FOX this afternoon and was devastated that so few showed up…..Well, as always, the cameras were lying; a friend emailed me this link….MANY people showed up for Trump in DC!!

    Like

  20. geeez2014 says:

    WHEN IS THIS CENSORSHIP GOING TO STOP? Are they NUTS cutting WiFi off so people couldn’t post, etc????

    Click on MillionMAGAMarch….WHAT A CROWD!

    By the way, my wonderful Brazilian student who now is at Grand Cyn University came by today for a visit! SO SO good to see him. He has a MAGA HAT and WEARS IT ON CAMPUS…he said MANY kids do. The girl had with him today is a total Conservative, too. LOVE THESE KIDS!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. kidme37 says:

    Big tech. Yep. We are at war. How many people support censorship. Too many.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. There seems to be big stuff going on.
    I talked about the voter fraud on my show today with the lawyer representing Michigan residents who are attesting to fraud. Mostly I listened.
    Then I talked about what the Trump response to the fraud seems to be.
    Link at my place.

    Like

  23. My friend Pat Colbeck, former Michigan state senator, is involved in the fraud case.
    He writes about it here.
    https://letsfixstuff.org/2020/11/dominion-voting-systems-unwrapped/?fbclid=IwAR1SpFN4_6yoPBXBI9N4b1tqCpVyQobI2NAs5h_mcS_JJilxnROnYZnFq1M

    Like

  24. Baysider says:

    Big Tech is at war with US. As one little snip said when she interfered to stop the truthful reporting of a campus incident so the conservative side did not get out: “it’s not that we’re against FREE speech. We’re against HATE speech.” And that’s how the hateful left has rolled. They are actually FOR hate speech and engage in it without a qualm.

    Ed, that is one interesting article. So, so clear the Trump won Michigan.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Baysider says:

    And Z, so happy to hear about your visitor!! 🙂

    Like

  26. geeez2014 says:

    BAYSIDER< it was WONDERFUL! I'll send you a picture now!!!

    ED…I just don't see what will actually STICK…..
    Did you see Judge Jeanine is back on tonight? Yes, last week, she wasn't on and ALL the Conservatives yammered that IT WAS FOX CENSORSHIP BECAUSE SHE SAID TRUMP MIGHT HAVE WON…How AWFUL! HOW TERRIBLE..WE ARE BEING LIED TO, they all said…
    Well, GUESS WHAT~! She was ALL OVER how Trump is the winner tonight and what happened! And so WAS it censorship or hopeful Republicans/ Geeesh/

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Watching Piro now, DVR, and she’s on fire.
    I don’t usually like her, but I do tonight.
    Not sure what to make of her absence.

    Like

  28. geeez2014 says:

    Ed…My point is that the Republicans all said SHE WAS CENSORED BY FOX and she very CLEARLY was not…..I mean, how much more COULD she have said against Biden and that TRUMP WON, right? And that’s what they said had her off the air last Sat. night…..
    She seemed more than FINE to me tonight.
    I’m not a big fan, either…she’s like watching The Godfather…that accent..oy!!!

    Like

  29. geeez2014 says:

    Or should I say “De Gawdfadduh” !!

    Like

  30. I get your point.
    But there may have been a knee jerk reaction, and then a realization of how she “owns” that time slot in ratings.
    And if they can her, she’s free to compete.
    I’ll wait for her memoirs.
    🙂

    Like

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